Robots

* this is too short, if you have any suggestions to make it longer let me know

If I could have a robot, I would want a robot like Tony Stark has in Iron Man. When I first saw the movie, I thought that his robot was really cool because he could talk to it like a human. I don’t know if this technology actually exists in real life, but I think that the closest thing to it would be if Siri was a robot and could actually do things.

If everyone had these robots it could be scary because they could get too smart then take over the world. Tony Stark’s robot is actually really smart even though he always calls it stupid in the movie which is sad. I think it would be cool to have one of those robots that just came everywhere with me and then it could do everything I wanted. It would also be cool because Tony Stark’s robot can recognize people’s faces and tell him about the person. This would be cool because if you were walking around in public, you could learn about people who you walk by. I wonder if robots could actually take over because the humans would still have control of their programming so they could just program them to not take over. I don’t know a lot about programming but I think it would be pretty hard for a computer to overcome its programming and become smart enough to take over.

If everyone had robots, it would be really weird because there would basically be twice as many people in the world because everyone would have a robot. But if the robots were small this wouldn’t be a big problem. It would probably also take a lot of power which wouldn’t be good for the environment.

In conclusion, it would be cool to have a robot but also it would be weird if everyone in the world had robots because people might get pretty lazy if their robots did everything.

Comments

  1. UnknownApril 19, 2018 at 6:44 PM

    I think this essay has a lot of reflection, but I think it could benefit from more narrative. I think that if you put a story that you experienced in between the first and second paragraph that would be nice. I also think that you could definitely expand on your conclusion and introduction. The conclusion especially felt a bit abrupt. i think the middle two paragraphs were good and the 2nd to last paragraph had some really good ideas which I would love to hear more about. I think that your ideas are really interesting, and I would love to read this essay when it is fully developed

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  2. Harmen AlleyneApril 26, 2018 at 7:07 AM

    Points that Ethan proposed are good. I would just like to suggest that there's quite a bit of repetitive language towards the end (you say that "a lot of robots would be weird" more than once in the span of 3 sentences). Otherwise your core concepts are good, and this seems like it would be a very interesting essay when complete.

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  3. IzzyApril 26, 2018 at 7:22 AM

    I think that if you want to make this essay longer, you could add more narrative, like a time having a robot like the one Tony Stark has would have helped you a lot or something. You could also just do something like go into more detail about why you think it would be weird for everyone to have robots or any other feelings you have on the subject of people having robots. If you wanted to expand the introduction or conclusion you could talk a bit more about why you think it would be cool to have a robot like Tony Stark's. Other than that, nice post, it's a great backbone for an essay.

    ReplyDelete
  4. WillApril 26, 2018 at 8:36 AM

    As the other comments stated, I think the essay would benefit from having more narration. You could start adding narration from the very introduction. I think if you opened the essay by telling the specific story of how you saw iron man for the first time, it would add an interesting element to the essay. Another thing you could try out is combining some of the short paragraphs, or elaborating on them to balance them out with the longer paragraphs. Because some are so short, it makes them seem a little unbalanced.

    ReplyDelete

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